writing – I am James' mum

Why? How? Beliefs, Belonging, Burnout and Beyond

Beliefs shape how we see the world.
Belonging shapes how we survive in it.
And if we can’t always answer how, maybe we go back to why.

Today I attended a business workshop where we discussed passion, burnout, and bouncing back. It helped me connect some of the things that have been quietly sitting in my brain for a while: beliefs, belonging, burnout – and what comes next.

But let me backtrack. A new stim appeared today. I found myself wondering—was James trying to show something he couldn’t yet say? These are the kinds of questions I ask myself often. I overthink. But sometimes, that overthinking helps me notice patterns, to piece together signals that might otherwise go unseen. That brings me back to beliefs and burnout. I burn out because the load is heavy—juggling life, learning, teaching, and creating tools. Even things I love can weigh me down when there’s no room to pause.

Lately, I’ve been experimenting with AI tools—training image generators to create meaningful visuals for my projects. I hoped it would make things easier. The results are inconsistent: brilliant one moment, bizarre the next. In a way, it reminds me of autism and the term spiky profile. Like that term, these tools can be great in one area and miss the mark in another.

It also reflects something deeper: expectations.

We often expect people—especially children with additional needs—to “perform” to certain standards. We do this without pausing to understand the gaps in comprehension, communication, or cultural background.

Take a sandwich, for example.

If you give someone butter, bread, chicken, and egg, what do they make? That depends on where and how they were raised. Do they toast it? Does the butter go inside or outside? What goes first—the chicken or the egg? How would an untrained Artificial Intelligence Bot make it? (Ha.)

The point is: the “rules” are cultural. Learned. Assumed. Alien to some! Yet sometimes, experimenting outside those rules leads to something beautifully unexpected.

If the response is supportive—“that’s a creative idea,” or “tell me more”—it becomes part of a learning process. But if the response is “not like that” or “that’s wrong,” it can feel alienating. This can erode confidence. Imagine the frustration. Imagine facing that type of reaction with almost everything, all the time.

The challenge deepens when rules change depending on where you are too. I navigate language and systems in a culture that isn’t my own. My lifestyle doesn’t always fit the norm. The strain of not quite fitting in is something I feel often. This is especially true in this international world. Many of us are raising third-culture or even fourth-culture children. The layers add up. Different languages, different social cues, different systems. It’s no wonder burnout is common. Burnout isn’t just tiredness. It’s a state of mental, emotional, and physical depletion. It’s the slow erosion that comes from constantly adjusting to expectations that weren’t designed with you in mind. I see it in my child. I feel it in myself. And I read about it in parent communities.

I do overthink. I do burn out. But to counteract the signals, I’ve built myself a first-aid kit for those moments. I exercise, listen to music, read, sing, or work. I remind myself it’s okay to not be okay. It’s not perfect, but it helps. Sometimes I still hide. Tomorrow might be the day I’m a little less afraid.

Maybe the answer is simple: We are human. We evolve. We are the species that invented aircraft and landed on the moon. We can make life better for those living with depression or anxiety, or those who feel like they don’t belong. We can build systems of communication that meet people where they are. We can create roles and spaces that value what people bring, not just measure what they lack. People have the power to make meaningful change.

I write to make sense of it all—for myself, and for James. To find a way move beyond his current way of communicating.
For every child and parent who feels like they’re getting the sandwich sign wrong, but keeps trying anyway.

And maybe, through it all, we can create a space for hope, answers, belonging, and a little magic. Maybe tomorrow that stim will have gone away. TBC 🙂

Multimodal Communication, Makaton, AAC and learning English Language

This blog explores how multimodal communication can support teaching English. It is especially helpful for learners who may be developing language in different ways. Let’s take a closer look at the What? Why? When? Where? How?

❓What is Multimodal Communication (MMC)?

Multimodal communication means using more than one method or mode to share a message. It falls under the umbrella of AAC — Augmentative and Alternative Communication.

These modes can include:

📸 Photographs or images
✋ Makaton or simplified sign language
🗣 Spoken language
🧍 Body language and facial expressions
📱 Speech-generating devices (SGDs) or apps
📝 Writing or typing
🧃 Real objects (e.g. a juice carton to represent “drink”)

By mixing and matching these modes, we make communication more accessible. It becomes more engaging and inclusive. This is especially true for children who find spoken English difficult to understand or use.

❓Why Use Multimodal Techniques?

Much like how we might use multimodal communication gestures when traveling in a foreign country, and can’t speak the native language,

Multimodal communication helps to support:

Children with delayed or different language development
Non-speaking or minimally verbal children
Learners with unclear or inconsistent speech
Those with sensory, cognitive, or motor differences
Children learning English as an Additional Language (EAL)

These techniques help avoid communication breakdowns and build:

💬 Meaning
🧠 Memory
👂 Understanding
🖐️ Participation
💪 Confidence

❓When Should We Use These Techniques?

Every day, and as often as possible.

Multimodal communication becomes more effective when:

It’s used consistently across different places — home, school, and community
It’s paired with real-life situations (e.g. signing wait at a zebra crossing)
It’s modelled with patience, rather than taught as a formal lesson

Multimodal communication is about natural connection, not just teaching.

❓Where Can We Use Multimodal Communication?

Anywhere! But the method you choose might change based on the setting.

For example:

🏫 In school: visuals, signs, speech, writing
🏊 In the swimming pool: facial expressions and gestures
🛝 In the park: key words, pointing, body language

🧩 Be flexible. If one mode isn’t available, use another. All forms of communication modelling count.

❓How Do We Use Multimodal Communication?

There’s no “one-size-fits-all.” Every child communicates in their own way.

What matters is that we:

✔️ Adapt to the child’s needs
🕓 Slow down and allow time to process
🔁 Repeat key messages using different modes
💡 Model communication naturally, rather than instructing
🔄 Focus on connection over correction — understanding comes first

❓What is Makaton?

Makaton is a simplified signing system that removes complex grammar and supports spoken language. It focuses on key words.

You:

Say the word
Sign the word
Use gestures to show the meaning

It’s a powerful tool for learners who are developing communication alongside or instead of spoken English.

❓Why Focus on Makaton Key Words?

Key words lay a strong foundation for:

🛑 Safety – stop, wait, no
🧃 Choice – want, like, more, finished
🧍 Social interaction – hello, help, look, me/you

When used naturally in conversation (not just commands), these words help children to:

Make choices
Express needs
Connect socially
Learn English in context

❓How Does Makaton Support English as a Second Language?

Makaton creates a bridge between a child’s home language and English.

It offers:

👁️ Visual cues for abstract English words
📣 Sound–meaning connections
🖐️ Gestural prompts that aid memory
💬 Early ways to communicate, even before fluent speech develops

In group settings, Makaton is inclusive — it helps everyone use the same universal signs to support understanding.

💬 My Personal Experience

Everyone communicates differently, and there is no right or wrong way to communicate with our kids. How we do it depends on what we want to say, how we naturally speak, and how we can adapt our message to support differences in processing, cognition, apraxia, and language development.

Key words are important because they help lay the foundation for basic safety, communication, and self-advocacy. My core keywords are:

Stop, Go, Wait, Want, Like, Do, Not

When these words are taught naturally as part of everyday conversation — rather than just used for giving directions — they become meaningful and usable in real-life situations. This creates a structure of understanding and builds the child’s ability to express themselves independently.

Using songs and storytelling to model the functions of language through Makaton (or other multimodal methods) reinforces the connection between sign and sound. Melody, imagery, movement, and expression add deeper meaning to the key words and make learning more engaging.

Music and stories are brilliant for:

🗣 Learning how language is used (asking, greeting, commenting)
🎵 Practising rhythm, tone, and pronunciation
🧠 Boosting memory and vocabulary
💖 Encouraging creativity, connection, and expression

What songs or stories would you like to learn? Please comment!

The Importance of Being Earnest: Understanding Gestalt Language Processing

I’ve been reflecting on the term Gestalt Language Processing (GLP) and how I wish someone had explained it to me years ago. Despite more than a decade of therapy with my son James, the term was never specifically brought to my attention. Perhaps for various reasons. But it’s so crucial that I now believe everyone — especially parents, teachers, and therapists — should know it.

As James’ mum

It’s my job to look and listen.
Not just with my eyes and ears, but with my heart and soul.
Not just for words, but for meaning.
Not just for learning, but also for feeling.

What Does Gestalt Mean?

We all contribute to the human Gestalt. It is our shared responsibility to make sure everyone feels part of it. As whole people. As part of a shared humanity that values people as equal, different and not less.

The word Gestalt comes from German, meaning “shape” or “form”. You might not hear it often in everyday conversation. That’s normal — specialist language tends to remain within professional circles such as speech and language therapy or medicine. Much like terms such as sensory processing disorder or neurodiversity, we often only learn them when we need to. But Gestalt is one of those vital, essential words we should all know.

So I write this blog in the earnest hope that someone else — perhaps a parent just beginning their journey — finds the clarity and hope this understanding has brought me.

As I continue to learn, I’ll continue to write and update my blog posts.

Learning styles, simplification, mnemonics and memorability

When trying to understand or explain something complex, I use simple comparisons. These include similes, metaphors, or symbols. I use any approach that helps make it memorable.

So here’s how I explain Gestalt Language Processing:

Gestalt Language Processing is greater than both the individual words AND the sum of the words or sounds used.

Using basic mathematical notation:

Gestalt Language Processing ≥	the sum of its parts (words)
GLP ≥	Σ (individual words)

And importantly:

Neurodiversity >

the sum of its diagnostic parts

Neurodiversity is greater than the sum of diagnostic labels, attributes and the way they communicate. The individual is more than any one label. Neurodiversity is the whole person.

Key:

≠ = not equal to	= = equal to
≥ = greater than or equal to	≤ = less than or equal to

Gestalt Language Processing is not the same as typical language learning (known as Analytic Language Processing). It differs from learning and using words one by one. It’s about how some people absorb chunks of language — phrases, tone, even lines from films — and use them to communicate meaning. It’s not merely random repetition or what might be labelled as vocal stimming or self-stimulation.

GLP ≠ Analytic Language Processing	GLP is not the same as analytic language processing.
GLP ≠ Random Repetition	GLP is not random repetition.
GLP = Meaningful Language Chunks	GLP involves meaningful units of language.
GLP > What It Seems	GLP is more than it appears to be on the surface.

The message often lives in more than just what is being said. That message is in the Gestalt. It encompasses the whole being of the person, the form it takes, and the environment that shapes it. It is not only in the parts of their language or behaviour we can easily see or interpret.

This is why the message is often greater than it may first seem. This is key to finding the meaning. It helps support the learner to develop more meaning in their communication attempts. Using alternative and augmentative communication techniques (AAC) can facilitate making their lives easier.

Echolalia and the Misunderstood Message

If you’ve heard of autism, you may also have come across the term echolalia. It refers to when a child repeats a word or phrase, seemingly out of context. It might appear random, even meaningless. But it isn’t. Echolalia is often a clear sign of Gestalt Language Processing. The repeated phrase isn’t just a copy. It’s a meaningful unit. We may simply not yet understand its full significance.

For years, I didn’t consider James to be a Gestalt Language Processor. This was because he didn’t have “words” in the traditional sense. He didn’t repeat lines from television or use set phrases. But he did, and still does, make sounds, use intonation, and produce strings of vocalisations that don’t appear to make sense.

Recognising GLP involves more than just spoken words. It is crucial for understanding how many people with disabilities may be trying to communicate. Some children, like my son, process language gesturally. They may also communicate through vocalisations that may sound unintelligible. However, they likely carry deep, personal meaning.

A Cultural Example: Rain Man

In the 1988 film Rain Man, Raymond (played by Dustin Hoffman) is portrayed as a man who frequently repeats lines from television and past conversations. At the time, these behaviours were seen as curious or even comical — part of the “savant with quirks” stereotype. As a 10-year-old watching the film, I didn’t understand what was really happening. Now, I can see that Raymond was likely a Gestalt Language Processor — using stored scripts to express thoughts and emotions.

While Rain Man was groundbreaking in raising awareness, it also simplified or misrepresented the richness and diversity of neurodivergent communication. Today, we know better — so we can do better.

Understanding James, Understanding GLP

Since learning about GLP, I now understand that James — a non-speaking Gestalt Language Processor — is communicating all the time. His vocalisations, intonations, facial expressions, and gestures (what I now affectionately call his “gjesters”) are his way of forming meaning.

His brain doesn’t retrieve or process language in the typical way. This isn’t a failure — it’s just different wiring, likely related to neurological differences in areas such as the basal ganglia. For him, spoken language is like a stormy sea. There’s no bridge, no path laid out — but he is wading through, sound by sound, expression by expression, building his own way to the shore.

Against Deficits, For Understanding

You may read my posts and think I’m anti-labels or sceptical of diagnostic tools — and yes, to an extent, that’s true. I believe we need knowledge, language, and evolving frameworks to help our children. But I push back against deficit-based labels — the kind that reduce children to categories of what’s “wrong” with them.

We’ve moved on from outdated terms like handicapped because we recognised how language shapes perception and inclusion. I hope we can keep evolving — towards a framework that respects the Gestalt of neurodiversity.

Gestalt, in broader contexts

From a linguistic perspective, the word Gestalt reminds me of “gesture,” and the ending “-alt” feels like “halt” — a blocked gesture. This reflects how many children’s communicative attempts are disrupted by neurological barriers. That’s where Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) becomes vital — to help work around these blocks.

In psychology, Gestalt theory is all about the whole: perception, behaviour, motivation, and connection. It sees the mind in a holistic view, for example more than the brain, blood and tissue that make up the organ, the body and the person. This is essential in how we understand neurodivergence.

And in the humanities? We might say this:
There is always more to a person than what meets the eye. The Gestalt of humanity is neurodiversity, and the sum of a person is more than what can be seen — or boxed into diagnostic categories.

As Dr Barry Prizant writes in Uniquely Human, our job is not to fix people — it’s to understand and support them.

Tag: writing