Why do I avert my eyes?

Can you imagine being asked to shield your eyes because it makes someone else uncomfortable? It is hard to believe, but this is a true story. A young woman with visual impairment was asked to wear dark glasses. Her uncovered eyes looked different and made the viewers uncomfortable.

Her lived experience included repeatedly being asked to hide her disability. This was done to protect the comfort of others. It came at the expense of her own comfort. How sad. Sadder that it amplifies a larger debate about masking and social skills training.

And it raises questions about how some children are taught to navigate the world. A world with a list of everything they cannot do. Long lists of fabricated scenarios, tests, stepped instructions, sometimes completely separate from the real world and meaning. The world that values ideals and conformity over identity and contentment.

Why do I avert my eyes? I don’t anymore. I vaguely recall it being mentioned as a child. Perhaps I was shy. I am shy (introverted) and extroverted in fact, at different times. My memory is shocking, but I know I was never forced to look into anyone’s eyes.

The way I see it is if the brain can’t process sensory input efficiently, it goes into stress mode. This is why people with autism are known to look away, or not make eye contact. Could it be ‘Seeing too vividly’? This idea is part of a set of Perception-First based concepts. These are Sensory Processing concepts, which I support. Thus the brain primary response is physiological arising from senses we do not consciously control. These include breathing, digesting, or even sneezing.

Perception-First and Sensory Processing

Perception-First Processing prioritises the signals from the environment. It’s a knee jerk reaction. This may be due to the higher number of synapses in their neurology causing noise and overwhelm, or regulation. E.g I get very hot and cold quickly so I usually wear layers. When I can’t control it I get very uncomfortable and then other things start to bother me more. I am overly aware of everything. Depending on my health and energy levels, when this happens I literally cannot focus on anything else. My skin becomes itchy, my hands clammy, the noise is too loud, or the sun is too bright. I want to shut down and put my hands over my ears and eyes. I am having trouble regulating.

This is an example of an intense reaction. I am neurodivergent, I am also a functioning adult and parent to a child with special educational needs. So I have had to learn and keep learning ways to regulate these basic physiological responses. I have to find and remember the methods to control their intensity. This affects me, my child, and our surroundings.

Intense World Theory

It also links nicely to the Intense World Theory. If we perceive the world as too intense, we will shut down. We will put our minds and bodies into a safe mode.

It begins with being aware of our basic safety needs. We need to attend to these needs. Self-regulation is essential. Adjusting the environment promotes inner comfort and calm.

Application of Intense World Theory in Real Life

Intense World Theory can be applied in daily life. This is done by understanding that heightened sensory processing is an integral aspect of the autistic experience. Emotional intensity is also a key component.

Importantly these theories help refute the outdated Theory of Mind (ToM) idea supported by many autism researchers. The concept of Theory of Mind (ToM) suggests that people with autism are cognitively deficient. This is because their thought processes differ from others. It is not true. As not all autistic people are savant, not all will have a cognitive deficit. As people, we have the ability to learn, at different speeds and in different ways. Once we address challenges from our physiology, and the environment, we recognise capacity. From this perspective, we can expect that values and meaning can be attributed to feelings and actions. We can also attribute them to interactions just like anyone else, in a natural environment. Time and response can help us access capacity, and adjustments or added explanations as necessary.

So, why were children forced to look into people’s eyes as part of therapy? & How can therapists incorporate Perception First Sensory Processing and Intense World Theory into neurodiversity-affirming practices?

This is for another post 🙂